My sweet baby girl,
You may have caught on, that I have really enjoyed documenting your firsts! Today; your very first birthday is no exception.
The days have passed so quickly. We’re here already, and I don’t understand quite how. And yet I can hardly remember what life was like without you. It was less for sure. Less laughter. Less love. More sleep maybe... But I wouldn’t trade all the sleep late mornings in the world for a moment of seeing your smile with each sunrise. You are the cutest alarm clock there is.
Daddy and I dreamed of you so many years ago. We chose your name and we talked about all the adventures we would take you on. We were practically children ourselves, but we knew you were our destiny. I created you within my womb, but you chose us. You knew exactly who you wanted your parents to be. And in turn, you completed our little family.
The last 365 days have been nothing short of magical. You have pushed me to my limits, and equally anchored me to the ground for the first time in my life. There has never been more clarity in my mind on what is important about the world now that you’re in it. You have brought so much joy to those around you, especially mommy & daddy.
I refer fondly to this last year as Chapter One. I’m a writer, so it seems fitting. You have learned so much the last 365 days of life, and the journey is just beginning. We’ve watched your first smile. Your first laugh. You first crawl- which quickly became first steps before nine months. We will face new and different challenges as a family, as you grow. It’s clear that the moment we get used to a pattern or complacent in routine, you’re going to switch it up. You’re going to keep us on our toes, and keep our hands as full as our hearts.
We’re about to enter the world of toddlerhood. If we aren’t there already. All three of us are going to be met with some wild new challenges. We’re all going to need extra patience and understanding. As you grow, learn and explore the limits and beauties of this world around you, you will encounter struggle. You will feel big feelings you might not have words for. You will have big thoughts that frustrate you when you can’t carry them out. I can’t promise I will be the perfect momma every single day, but I do promise to do my absolute best.
I promise to respect the season and process of your growth. To never shame or belittle you because you’re struggling with something. I promise to remember we are both learning, but that I am the parent and it is my job to lead by example. Together, you and me and daddy can do anything. You have already proven just how bright, brave and brilliant you are.
When you came Earth side exactly one year ago, it was not in the way I originally envisioned or planned. But the way you needed to be born. And that first lesson you taught me is perhaps one of the most important. To follow your lead, because you know exactly what to do and when to do it. That it’s good to have plans in place, but also to know that whatever is meant to be, will be. You show me what you need from me and I fill in any gaps with my instincts, cuddles, milkies and love.
You didn’t need me to teach you to stand or to walk. You were saying “hello” before you were even three months old. But no matter how advanced you were this first year- you made sure to let me know that you still needed me. That you were still my baby. And as the years pass and your independence grows more and more, I’ll give you the space to spread your wings. And I’ll also be right here waiting with open arms when you need me; forever your mama.
I promise to love you fiercely, no matter the gender or race of who you decide is worthy of your love. No matter what God or faith you choose to believe in. No matter where life leads you professionally or personally, I will always have your back. Daddy and I have no expectations of you beyond being a kind and loving human being. To yourself, and to others. And this you have already shown you are.
I promise to set you up for your best chance in this world. To tell you everyday how beautiful and brilliant you are. To remind you not to dim your light, or lower your voice for anyone. I promise to teach you to be proud in your independence, celebratory with your strengths, and graciously honest about your weaknesses. I will teach you that it’s wise to ask for help, from both men and women. And how important it is to build a good support system around you for the times you need a friend to support you.
I vow to help you cultivate your imagination, explore your passions and dream big. This world will try and stifle your mind, tell you to follow and keep up with the heard. This is not your destiny, as the last year has proved. You know what you want, and you go after it. Demand it. You do not care what others think of you, or whether or not you may fail. That natural fire within you is beautiful and I hope it never extinguishes.
I promise to set examples of a confident, healthy and happy woman. To teach you the importance of wellness and positive body image. We only get one body, and it must serve us our entire lives. I worked hard for over 40 weeks creating this body you. From your nose, to your toes...this is beautiful form is what you’ve got to work with baby girl. I promise to teach you to appreciate, fuel and care for it, so it can be your vehicle to explore this earth for a long happy life.
I vow to never lie to you about the darkness in this world, but also to not focus on it. There is so much good and magic around us. I vow to show you the power of kindness, love and hope. I promise to sincerely apologize when I mess up, and to always try again. To raise you to know that home will always be a safe place to return to, no matter what time it is, how old you are, or what you may need.
Thank you for choosing me to be your mama. It’s the greatest gift anyone has ever given me. I promise, I won’t disappoint you. I love you baby girl, and Happy Birthday.
-Mama Bear 🐻