To the Person Who Loves Our Daughter One Day
Note: the idea for this was originally inspired by a beautiful letter I saw called “Dear Future Son in Law”, but as we do not know who our Baby Bear will choose to spend her life with, if she will marry or not, etc -this longer, more inclusive title is just right.
We don’t know when you will read this, but when you do, know that we are welcoming you into our family with open hearts, minds, and arms.
The first thing we want you to know, is that we do not care about gender, religion or skin colour. We do not expect you to be perfect, nor do we want you to be. Perfect is boring. We do not expect you to have a squeaky clean past. (Neither of us do.) The best people often come with a bit of history. You are free to be whoever you are. To become whoever you want to be. And our daughter is free to love whomever she chooses. All we truly care about is that you will be kind to our daughter. That you will love and respect her. That you will crave, celebrate, and find solace in her. That you will honour her mind. Her body. And her soul. That you will see her as a whole person worthy of your very best. You do that, and we will forever support your lives together.
We have no idea how old she will be when you two fall in love. Or what she will be like as a person when you meet her. To us she is perfect. But we are not fools and we know she is human. Just like the rest of us, just like you she will have beautiful flaws. If you are the right person for her, you will find love, even in these flaws. Not despite them, but because of them.
As her parents, we see greatness in her. She was raised with gentleness and love and she projects that to everyone she encounters. We raised her to know her worth. To see the value in others.
She has the power to move mountains. To dream big and live life to the fullest. If you are the right partner for her, you will celebrate this. You will support her.
You will not take advantage of her. Or dull her shine.
We have done our best to raise her to speak up for herself when she feels mistreated. To know it is safe to ask for help. If she tells you she needs something in your relationship to change, she is being genuine and we hope you respect her words. Relationships can be everlasting if the two people participating in it, understand that their partner is a living breathing human capable of change. Of spiritual rebirth, of new dreams. She will not stay the same girl she was when you first met. She will learn new skills, discover new likes and dislikes. Just as you will.
She is a sensitive woman. She is the kind of woman that drew on walls as a child, and loved to explore. She had very little fear, but when she did experience it, she knew she had her safe places to go. We pray you are one of her safe places now. She is a smart woman and she knows what she wants. You are what she wants, so please do not let her down.
A few tips to help you on tough days...
-She loves cuddles.
-She finds comfort in the words “you are safe and you are loved”. These words are precious to her, do not abuse them.
-She loves to laugh. She may in fact have the greatest laugh on the entire planet. But if you are reading this, you already know that.
-She loves chocolate. When in doubt on how to cheer her up, give her a bit, and she will love you forever.
(She also loves cheese, so fondue is a pretty safe bet.)
-She loves music and she loves to dance. Take her dancing. Dance with her anywhere. Anytime.
Our little girl is completely unique. She is one of a kind. There are many beautiful, incredible girls and there always will be. You could search the world and never find a woman like her again. You are the right person for her if you feel this in your heart and soul. We cannot promise you that every moment of living with her will be easy. We know, we’ve done it. But we can promise that it will be absolutely worth it. And that nothing will ever be easier than loving her will be.
Isabella is our whole world. We were born to meet, fall in love, and create her. To do our best to raise her and watch her make the world a more beautiful place. Now she has chosen you to join her on her journey. To share life with her. That is no small privilege. We hope you understand the importance of her choice, and that you choose her back with everything you are.
Love our little girl the way you would want someone to love your daughter. Love her like she deserves. Like she needs. Be her partner. Her best friend. Her safe place. Her rock. Live and work as a team. It’s your turn now. To take on the world together, in your own special ways. We will strive to give you both the time and space you need to find your way. We will always be here for you both. We will always be your family.
Enjoy the ride.
-Mama Bear & Papa Bear