Hey Mom and Dad, thanks for being loyal readers and supporting your daughter on her journey into motherhood. However, this post is probably one you're going to want to skip. I know you're super cool and all that, but sometimes parents dont want to hear their only daughter talk about her boobs in a sexual way 🤷♀️. Know what I mean?
And moving on....
As women we are told a lot of things about our breasts and how we should feel about them during different stages of our life. We are told by other people, society, men and other women what WE SHOULD FEEL ABOUT OUR BOOBS! Shouldn't we get to decide how we should feel about our own damn bodies?
Ever since I was a little kid, I can remember wanting my own set of tatas. It seemed like all the power came from women with big boobs. They called all the shots, when to go to bed, what I had to eat, when it was time to come home from playing. My whole childhood was mainly centered around strong women, who just also happened to have boobs. So as soon as I had the chance, I would stuff my shirt with wash clothes and walk around like I was Queen of the world. It was like putting on a crown for me.
Fast forward to my teen years where I was too embarrassed to wear a bra (even though I CLEARLY needed one) and was inevitably bullied for the shape of my not-yet developed chest. Aka cone tits 🙄 …original I know. So, at that point these things I looked at as powerful objects, that gave every woman confidence, were now making me want to crawl out of my own skin. I was embarrassed and honestly, I was ashamed. I started wearing bras and would try and hide my slowly growing chest as much as possible. Which is more difficult than I realized while growing up with hormonal boys. Which lead me into a "Tom boy" phase which allowed me to wear hoodies that were 4 times too big for me and cause me to hide my feminine beauty. This was not a good time for me and my boobs.
Fast forward again to my late teens and early 20's when breasts were now back to being used as a power tool!! ... or so I thought. At this stage it seems like this is the only time that it is 100% acceptable to wear low cut shirts and "show off" with out being told "you're too old to be wearing something like that". Its not only acceptable but encouraged to dress the ladies up and use them to get what ever you want. Push up bras, tape, pulling your shirt down when the guy at the liquor store asks for ID, you name it. These boobs, they were a tool. But if I didn’t want to splay my chest open for all to see, I was a prude. I was just starting to discover my own sexiness and it felt great! But it also felt like even though I was discovering this whole new side of me, men seemed to want to get to know less of me. They were only interested in one thing. But what if I wanted to feel sexy for ME, not for anyone else? Was I stuck in this vortex of having to choose between someone showing genuine interest in who I was or showing only physical desire based on what I chose to wear that day? Why did I have to choose? This season only added more confusion between me and my relationship with the ladies.
Let's move forward into the biggest controversial area surrounding breasts, and what other people think you should do with yours. Becoming a Mother!
For some freaking reason we think it is totally acceptable to TELL a woman what she should be doing with her own breasts. I dont mean sharing with someone your own thoughts about your own body, I mean blatantly telling someone what they should be doing with their own organs. I remember being pregnant and total strangers would strike up a conversation with me (all nice and polite and wonderful) and then it would come… the comment… “you’re going to breastfeed though right?”. Like, oh excuse me Susan I didn’t know my tits were up for discussion here! I would understand someone asking what my plans were when it comes to feeding my baby, maybe them sharing their own experiences and struggles but for some reason it was more common to hear total strangers bash other mothers for formula feeding instead of breastfeeding. I mean don’t get me wrong breastfeeding was 100% my plan and my goal for as long as physically possible, but I had known mothers who weren’t able to do that (including my own mother) and it would add a level of fear and anxiety around something I wasn’t even going to be doing for a few more months until she was born.
I remember one specific incident where Baby Wolff was earth side and maybe a few weeks old at this point, and I had a lady ask me the same question other strangers had asked me while I was pregnant… “you’re breastfeeding right?”. Except that she had said it in this tone like she was hoping I would say Yes, so that she could then bitch about her own daughter in law for using formula with her grandbaby. After I said that “Yes I am breastfeeding” she proceeded to go off about how poisonous it was to feed with formula and how back in her day there was none of that garbage, and how great of a mother I was for “doing what was right” for my baby and how she felt about her own daughter in law choosing a different path. Now I don’t know if it was motherly instincts or pure exhaustion at this point (because I myself was struggling with breastfeeding) but I was less than polite to her. I am genuinely a nice person, and when I run across ignorance, I choose not to feed into it one way or another but I could feel my blood boiling (and angry tears from my hormones bubbling up inside) and I had to say something. Now keep in mind this was almost 2 years ago so the details are fuzzy but I do know that I made it clear that some women don’t have a choice, that they struggle and its HARD for some women and I can understand that because I AM STRUGGLING but I was lucky enough to be able to have some success. WOMEN ARE NOT BAD MOTHERS FOR FEEDING THEIR BABY, REGARDLESS OF METHOD.
Okay I will get off my soap box here….
But there it was, more people telling us what we should be doing with our breasts! There is the expectation that we need to “follow the rules” … I don’t know whose rules… but we need to follow them or we are some how wrong or stand out in the wrong way. Do you know how excited I am that more women are ditching their bras and letting those nips show! Like YES girl do what ever the fuck you want! Let them free, cover them up, bra, no bra, do what you want with them!
Another controversial topic when it comes to mothers’ breasts is that their function is only allowed to be providing for the baby. It’s like their “sexy” season is over or put on hold until their feeding journey is over. When we asked women on our Instagram page what their thoughts were around their own breasts after baby we had a lot of responses echoing the previous statement. “I don’t see them as a sexy part for me any more”. So, it got me thinking, why can’t they be both sexy and functional at the same time? Is that even possible? Well in my own experience YES! ABSOLULTELY YES! I wanted to know if other women felt the same way and I was pleasantly surprised to hear that I wasn’t alone and that other women felt like they could be both. “For the first time in my life I felt empowered by them”. “I feel sexier knowing how powerful my body is”! “I want my partner to view me as sexy as well, breasts included. Own your body!”. So, if they CAN be both functional and sexual at the same time, should they be? Well that is 100% up to you, they are YOUR BOOBS! I am so grateful to hear from other women who share on topics that aren’t usually talked about surrounding motherhood, sexiness included. I think it sheds a light on the realities of life with a baby and the unspoken shared experiences of other mothers. Just because some of us like to multitask with our chesticles doesn’t mean that you have to. If you feel more comfortable focusing on one thing at a time then, YOU DO YOU! Breastfeed - Don’t breastfeed Wear a Bra – Go Braless – Tape your boobs – Bind your boobs Let them hang low – keep them locked in Show them off – Keep them in a tight t-shirt – Wear a loose-fitting top Wire bra – sports bra – push up bra – Bra-let – Fucking paint them like a clown DO WHAT EVER THE FUCK YOU WANT WITH YOUR OWN GOD DAMN TITS! – THEY ARE YOURS
🎤 BOOBS OUT🎤
Mama Wolff xox
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