Becoming a mother has been such a defining part of my life so far. It has been such a blessing to be on this journey with Christopher and I wanted to share with you all his thoughts on his own walk through fatherhood so far. On fathers day I think it is important to celebrate all dads because they are just as important as mothers. I am grateful for my own father and fatherly figures but I wanted to share the man I am the most proud of, Papa Wolff. We took the time together to ask a few questions and here are his own words on becoming the father he is so far.
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Thank you for giving me the chance to share on my own experiences of becoming a Dad. It has been quite the journey but it has been the greatest experience of my life (and our relationship). This is my second Father's Day and sometimes it's hard to imagine that it's already my second, I dont know where the time has gone. You asked me a few questions and I wanted to take the time to give my thoughts on each of them. I hope that this can help some soon to be Dads or even a great reminder to long time Dads, welcome to fatherhood tough guy.
You asked me; What do you think has been the greatest blessing since becoming a dad? Honestly it has been getting the chance to fall even more in love with you and Luna as a father and husband. Becoming a father is no joke and the amount of love that has grown between us as well as the relationship I've built with Luna is immeasurable. I know you've said it before but I've never experienced love like this until I became a father.
Q: From your experience how was the journey from “talking about having kids” to actually getting pregnant?
I was a little nervous just due to wondering if I was actually ready to be a father. Not knowing if I was going to be good enough or adequate or capable of raising a child. As well as wanting to be in the best place possible to bring a child into this world. Financially, personal growth wise, and our relationship were among the few I imagined being set in place first. I have realized that there is no “perfect” time to do anything. Its just making the best of the situation’s life gives you.
Q: What was it like being told by my doctor we weren’t allowed to try for a baby? It was a little frustrating. However it was also nice to wait a little while as it allowed me to feel more prepared. Even though there isn't a perfect time, I think there is definitely room to do the best you can in regards to preparing for a child. Your health challanges were tough to deal with, especially the unknown and not knowing if we would be able to have kids. But during that time it allowed us to communicate better and start developing hope in our situation. We were able to start slowly buying baby things, little bits here and there until we had a full nursery. Yes there was a chance that the nursery would sit empty but we knew hope was more powerful than worry. It also gave us a chance to really talk about what our family would look like, would we adopt or foster if we couldn't conceive a child? It brought us closer even though in the begining it tore us apart for a while. I think that time was something we really needed as a couple, even though we couldnt see it while we were in it.
Q: So then what was is like when I told you I was pregnant? How did you feel? I was very excited and also very emotional. We had waited so long and when we were allowed to start trying it happened so fast! So while we were ready I was still nervous. It was incredible news to find out you where pregnant, however it made me nervous as I wasn’t sure I was ready yet. The responsibility of molding and shaping this tiny human seemed so large that I wasn't sure if i could do a good enough job. It's a lot of weight to carry.
** I told Christopher he was going to be a dad with some help from 102.3 Now Radio. I will leave a link below**
Q:What was it like for you during my whole pregnancy? Busy, you werent able to do a lot when you were first pregnant because you were so sick. So I had to take on both our responsibilities and I still wanted to make sure you were doing okay. Due to how you felt during your first trimester, things where slightly hectic. But I wanted to do everything I could to help you and also keep our relationship growing. There were definitely trying times, but there were also many great times. Learning to change my expectations of what you were able to physically do was hard on both of us. It was a growth period in our marriage that forced us to communicate about each others needs and learning how to give grace. Those times really helped our relationship once Luna was born.
Q: What was my birth like in your own words? Your birth was incredible. Being able to see you go through all that and become the woman that you are today was an amazing thing to witness. I'm grateful to have been able to be a big part in advocating for your birth preferences and wanting to be as involved as I possibly could be. I think it was a very empowering event that helped to show both of us what you are capable of.
Q:Explain the moment you told me we had a girl. Telling you we had had a baby girl was the most exciting and emotional time. I was so happy that we had a healthy baby girl. The emotional overload of witnessing the birth and then being the first person to tell you what we had had made everything an incredible experience that I'll never forget.
Q: What is it like being the father of a daughter? Being a father of a daughter carries with it an incredible responsibility to instill and create values in her as well as expectations on how she should be treated in the world. As fathers we set the example of how she should expect the world to treat her. She will get her confidence from the safety and environment she grows up in at home and as a father I play a big roll in that. I want her to grow up not only having high expectations of how a man should treat her but also how she should treat men. I have to be the measuring stick with which to measures any potential husband and that is a huge responsibility, that starts when she's young.
Q: Do you feel like there is more responsibility to raising a girl verses a boy in todays world? Yes. I expect myself to be an example of what my daughter should look for in a husband. I teach her how she should be treated by being an example in how I love her mother. Obviously I say this coming from the experience of not having a son (yet?), but daughter's gain their confidence from their father. In a world where women are labeled with "daddy problems" and are told they are "too emotional" and who can't even leave the house without worrying about the potential of being assaulted, I have to do all I can (and more) to raise her with confidence that is rooted so deep in her values that she can change that narrative. It's a responsibility that sits heavy on my shoulders.
Q: What values do you think need to be implemented by you to our daughter? I need to teach my daughter what she should be looking for in a husband. I also need to teach her how a man should treat a woman, by telling her and displaying it in the home and around other people. She should also know what it looks like to fail and push forward anyway. I want her to develop curiosity and a sense of adventure that is rooted in faith. Faith in what ever higher power she wants but more importantly faith in herself. I want to instill the values of gratitude, serving others, forgiveness, generosity, health, among many more. By doing all this I will teach and show her what she should be expecting as well as what the standard should be from the world around her but also what she can do for herself and others. When you become a parent you dont have the luxury of doing what ever you want, you have little eyes watching you. It's your job to be intentional about the influence you have in the lives of others but especially your children.
Q: What is something you hope Luna knows growing up with you as her dad? I hope that Luna knows how much I care for her and love her. I want her to know how much of a privilege it is being her father and how excited I am to continue to watch her grow, fall down and get back up. I want her to know that in how I spend my time, as well as what we do together.
Q: How has our marriage changed in your eyes? I believe our marriage has gotten better due to needing to communicate better and be a leading example for our daughter. We set the ground works for what she should look for in a healthy and good relationship. ( I agree, It hasnt been perfect but we both have the same goal of modeling our marriage to her through our values)
Q: What is the best thing about being a dad? Getting to spend the time with my daughter and do the things she wants to. Being able to make her laugh and just have a good time. These are the things that create the lifelong memories
Q: What do you wish you would have known before becoming a dad? I wish people would tell you that things will get tough and frustrating. That its ok to be frustrated and need a break. Knowing this before I became a father would have made dealing with Luna’s temper tantrums and difficult stages with her frustrations easier
Q: What would you tell other soon to be dads? That your wife will need a break. And that there will come times where it is completely ok to ask for help. It wont make you less of a man/father. Also that you need to pitch in and help as much as possible. Your wife just grew and birthed another human, the least you can do is help out with chores, or changing a bum or getting up in the middle of the night with her while she's nursing. Just hold her dam hand man. She needs you now more than ever. Also that you dont have to be super dad as soon as they're born. You're going to do great and you're going to love that tiny human more than you even know.
Happy Fathers Day - New and Long time Dads Papa Wolff
Telling my husband I'm pregnant video
https://youtu.be/OLRFClPHtQY