Another Wild One on the way! -How I told my Husband
If you know me, there was literally no surprise that my husband and I were going to have a second child. To be honest though, after the birth of my first, and during those really rough nights I did question if we would ever have any more or if we were “One and Done”. Even though I had some serious doubts on my ability to be a good mother, once I was able to overcome some of my own internal battles, I knew that deep down inside I always wanted more than one child. Funny enough, my husband and I had agreed on 5 kids when we first got married, now the only way I would do that voluntarily would be if we adopted! Which we do want to do one day. So, while we are VERY excited about Baby Wolff #2 there have been some serious differences between pregnancies so far, as well as my maternal care as well! Which I am excited to get into in a future post. But this time I wanted to reminisce with you on how I told my husband we were pregnant, with our first and with this little bean.
Little Miss Petunia:
For our first I will have to give you a little bit of a back story. I had gone through some health challenges, a misdiagnosis as well as a journey of biopsies and a surgery to remove part of my cervix and a year and a half of not knowing when or if, we could start a family. At this point in our lives we had been told to stop trying (right as we decided to start) and this journey tested our marriage and our communication more than I think anything else could have. Even though it was scary going through it, we are both so grateful to have had that time to build and even stronger marriage before jumping into parenthood.
December 2016 was the last time I had to visit the cross cancer and I got a call saying that we were allowed to start trying as long as my last test came back clear. The day of my last test was the day we conceived! I was in SHOCK that it happened that fast. It felt like the universe was like “it’s about time we have been waiting to give you this gift!”. We had honestly expected to be trying for a year before starting to worry about it, we had no idea that we would be blessed right before Christmas!
At this time my husband worked 7 days on and 7 days off. We had joked that there was NO WAY I would be able to keep pregnancy a secret for very long from him, but boy was he wrong! He also said that he would know I was pregnant before I did 🙄, definitely not lol. The night before I found out I had taken a pregnancy test (because I take them like twice a day like a crazy person as soon as I am done ovulating). I had left it on the counter and forgot about it as I was wrapping Christmas presents. 2 hours later I came upstairs and looked at it, thinking it had a SUPER faint line but it was probably an evaporation line because I had left it there for 2 hours. Now when I say a faint line, I mean like I stared at it for a solid 10 minutes convincing myself that it was a line. I threw it out and took it out of the trash like 3 times. By this point my husband is so used to me testing ovulation and pregnancy that he doesn’t even pay attention to the tests any more because I was trying to track my ovulation every day for the past 3 months to understand my body better. So, he had seen the test and thought it was just another ovulation test. That night was his last day off and he would be going back to work for a week starting the next morning. As we lay in bed talking about kids, we decided to look up more information on becoming foster parents. I had actually sent off a request for more information that night! While trying to fall asleep I couldn’t stop thinking about that damn pregnancy test and I KNEW that the second he left for work I would be in that bathroom taking another test. ….
That morning I got those two pink lines at 10 DPO (days past ovulation) that I never thought I would get and I was in shock! I was in disbelief because we didn’t know if it would ever happen, we also didn’t think it would happen THAT FAST and to top it all off I was running around the house screaming in excitement but I couldn’t tell anyone! It was just an emotional rollercoaster of a morning let me tell you!
My first thought was to apply for a midwife and tell Mama Bear! After getting it off my chest I quickly turned to “how am I going to tell him?”. I had been watching announcement videos on YouTube for the last 2 years and I had so many options to pick from but I REALLY wanted to catch his reaction on camera. Especially since he told me I would never be able to 🙄. So, I thought I would go out on a limb and contact 102.3 Now Radio to see if they could help me. Joelle called me back and agreed to help me tell him, the only thing was, was that Rob and Joelle were covering off for another host and wouldn’t be available in the evening when my hubby got off work.
So, I would have to wait the full 7 days until his next day off!! So, the date was picked and now the plan started to form. I wrote a poem from “Baby to Santa Claus” that would give it away while it was being read. I had to make sure he would be listening to the radio at the exact right time, so his bother agreed to give him a call on that day and pretend to be stuck on the side of the road and needing some help/a ride. A few days before this secret plan was to take place, his brother and I went to the Radio station and they provided me with a Go-Pro to hide in the car. It turned out there was no where to hide it without being seen so I would have to hold it (which worked out great because we took a different car that morning!). There we so many things that could have gone wrong and didn’t! I was so thankful! I have his reaction on video which I will link here, but I have to say that after I turned the camera off, we just cried together for a solid 15 minutes. It was such a special moment for the both of us, one that I will never forget.
Here is the link to his reaction:
Little Baby Wolff on the way:
Now while this pregnancy didn’t have the build up like our first, it was still very special to find out I was pregnant again. I think with the second, there is this sense of everything was going to be okay because we had been through all of the unknown with our first. We had decided we were going to start trying again for our second come January 2020. We had our own reasons, some silly and some health wise but that was our original plan. We both had serious baby fever and even though we weren’t actively trying I was still tracking like I had done with my first and we were just avoiding the most fertile days. So not really “trying” but definitely not “preventing” either. We laugh that me getting pregnant wasn’t really our fault, it was the baby fever and us finding out that a friend of ours was pregnant again… and maybe a glass or two of wine I had that night while baking. But either way I took a test and we knew I was ovulating and decided to go for it anyway. Well to no one’s surprise that was the night we conceived! I knew I was pregnant right away, like I mean the next morning I just knew. I knew the difference between being hyper aware and over thinking possible symptoms verse my actual symptoms and I just knew.
So, we had talked about it every day until I got those two lines, so when I finally told him I was pregnant there was zero shock, but there was still so much love and excitement. My dad and step mom were in town and I desperately wanted to know if I was pregnant before they left to go back home, since I wasn’t able to tell them in person last time, I really wanted to tell them in person this time. So, I took an insane amount of pregnancy tests while they were here, just in case. The morning they had to leave I told them at breakfast that I thought I might be pregnant, and some of the symptoms I had been having that were exactly like my last pregnancy. My Dad just looked at me and said “I think you are too; I don’t know why it’s just a feeling” and it was such a sweet bonding moment that we had.
By that afternoon I had taken another test and BAM I finally got my two lines at only 7 days past ovulation!! Not only was I grateful for the positive test it also meant avoiding an intrauterine biopsy that I was terrified of getting. After giving my Dad and Step Mom a call on their way home, I had to quickly figure out how I was going to tell my husband. Like I said, he basically already knew because he knew my symptoms as well and I honestly didn’t think I could beat my first pregnancy announcement. My daughter and I did the best we could with what we had at home, since we only had a few hours until he got home from work. I managed to put a sign above our bed that read “We are pregnant with Baby #2” and I covered the bed with every single balloon I could find in our house. Our security system announces when the garage door opens so once we heard it, we hid in the bedroom and once he came inside, we called for him to come find us. He opened the door to find our toddler right there holding a pregnancy stick as he read the sign and he smiled from ear to ear with this “right on” kind of laugh. It was a different moment than our first but it was exactly right for where we are now. There weren’t any tears of big relief around being able to get pregnant, it was just whole hearted happiness that we were expanding our family. We all hugged and cuddled as a family and jumped up and down together. Even though our toddler didnt understand why we were excited she was just as happy to be squealing right along with us.
I will say that no matter how I told him, his reaction is always something I will cherish for the rest of my life. I don’t know if I will ever get the chance to do it again, but I hope that if I do it will be filled with just as much love and excitement.
I would also LOVE to hear how you told your partner you were pregnant! I love hearing stories from other moms (especially since it gave me ideas for when it was my turn). It doesn’t matter if they were happy, crying, funny or in shock, that moment is something I think most people will always remember.