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  • Writer's pictureMama Bear & Mama Wolff

Papa Bear Speaks Out for Father’s Day


Happy Father’s Day from all of us here at the MamaBear & Mama Wolff team. We started this blog one month ago, opening up about our motherhood journeys. And today’s, the dads are speaking up. We are so excited to hear from them, have their support and share their words with you. Below is Papa Bears story, in his own words.




Q: What do you think has been the greatest blessing since becoming a dad?


The greatest blessing of being a dad.... The one minute. The one minute everyday I get to be with Isabella when I pick her up, kiss her, and hold her. I honestly live for that one minute every single day. The world falls away from concern for that minute when it’s just you and me. 


Q: From your experience how was the journey from “talking about having kids” to actually getting pregnant?


I remember talking with Cathrine when we started planning for a baby. We had names picked out before we were even done being children ourselves. I remember coming home the day she told me I was going to be a dad. It felt surreal, like that moment you’ve rehearsed for from time to time in the mirror for when the day arrives. Like waiting your whole life for that new family member and then the woman you love tells you she’s creating your child for you. It’s still surreal. That journey seemed so long, though because of it I feel like I’ve known my daughter my whole life. 





Q: What is it like being the father of a daughter?


From the moment I laid eyes on her I adored her. I know that whoever she chooses to be in her life will be shaped on how I treat this baby girl. Having a daughter makes you see things in a different light. Whatever it takes to protect this baby girl is worth it. Though also at the same time it helps me see the beauty in the world because she is in it. 


Q: Do you feel like there is more responsibility to raising a girl verses a boy in todays world?


In today’s world, I’m not too worried about more responsibilities. I’m not worried because I know I’m going to show my daughter she can do what ever she wants. Not biased towards the gender role of it all. I don’t want her to limit her imagination because of gender roles. I have thought about the difference between teaching a boy vs a girl how to take care of themselves hygienically. I think it will be a learning curve teaching a girl this, though I’m excited to learn how to put her hair in a pony tail, and awkwardly stand by my wife as she tells her why her body is changing





Q: How has having a daughter affected our marriage?


Belle brought us to the point in our life that we had always wanted. I knew from a young age I wanted to be a dad. Now that I understand my feelings better I know that it was because of my lack of a father as a child. I knew that I wanted to love someone that much. I knew that my wife always wanted to be a mommy. That she wanted my baby. This was something we both wanted for a long time, though after a miscarriage and trying and trying again and again with no results. I found that this put a lot of pressure on us. We would fight about it but at the same time we knew that there was supposed to be a baby, our baby. Then she came to us, I feel she chose us.

I will be the first to say that after the birth I was emotionally shorter than I would have expected. Not being needed from the baby was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to face, though at the same time also being needed from a recovering mother. It was hard to find balance between the two. Finding the patience to be what they both needed weighed on me and Mumma Bear, though our cub needed us.

Even to this day it is straining on our relationship in ways. Feeling emotionally distant from lack of intimacy. Physical and sexual, for me has been a challenge. I truly have a hard time with the lack of intimacy, sometimes it just feels like there’s no time for it at all. Even something simple like hand holding hasn’t been the same because she would need her other hand to hold baby. Though at the end of the day, there is still more love. 


Q: What is the best thing about being a dad?


I love that fatherhood has brought me back to all those simple pleasures I had long forgotten. The stories I get to tell Cathrine about my childhood because of an activity we are doing together. Then that smile on my wife’s face after telling her a story of my childhood with my foster father. Though the best thing ever, has to be seeing my wife’s smile on my daughters face. Seeing Bella smile when I come home. Her smile is something I always look forward to.


Q: What was it like for you during my whole pregnancy?


I fell more in love with you every single day. Seeing our daughter grow in mommy was the cutest thing. Though it’s the waddle I will always miss and going swimming with mom, our human submarine. I was scared for baby to come, not because I was scared to be a dad, but because I knew our baby was safe with mom.


Q: What was her birth like in your own words?


Isabella‘s birth was something it’s really hard to describe. From starting the day at home and looking at Cathrine in the mirror with her baby bump to actually waiting in the waiting room. That the doctor said they had to go in and get Bell our wears two years were kind of confirmed I mean I guess we knew that we’re gonna have to go on a girl but we had we’re still holding on to the hope that she would come naturally. 


Then the wait, the longest 15 minutes of my life. Waiting outside the room while Cathrine was being prepared. The fear that they would forget me outside, or that they would have to do it without me. I don’t think my brain had ever worked so fast in my life thinking of all the worst case scenarios. Then getting pulled into the room, and unfortunately seeing the wrong side of the curtain. The only thing that kept me strong for my wife was knowing that she was being way more brave than I had to be in these last few minutes of her being pregnant. Holding my wife’s hand as we waited for the doctors to bring Belle to us. 


I remember mommy asking me to tell me a story to distract her. I remember telling her the story of the luckiest guy in the world, me. How daddy got mommy to fall in love with me twice and the places we were going to go and things we were going to do. Though before I could finish, we heard your cry for the first time. Mommy and I both looked at you, our beautiful daughter for the first time. 


Q: What values do you think need to be implemented by you to our daughter?


I believe I have to show my daughter how to be treated as a young woman. That primarily she is a person that has every right to be who over she wishes to be. I want to show her to be kind above all else. To feel safe to laugh and cry, that it’s okay to fall down as long as she gets back up. That when she’s not strong enough to get back up, that her parents will be there. One of the most important things I’ve learned in my life is that family may not always be the last name you share but the bond you hold with another.   


Q: What is something you hope Bella knows growing up with you as her dad?


I want Isabella to know that she will always be safe and she will always be loved. That when she needs a daddy hug, that I will always need it more. That I will never give up on her. That if anyone hurts her, they are hurting me and I will leave the rest to her imagination. Though above all else I would want her to know that everyday I go away for work, that dad is counting down the minutes until I get to see you again.


Q: What do you wish you would have known before becoming a dad?


I wish I knew what it was like to not be needed as much as mom. That this was enough for me to want to break, though when you have a baby girl breaking is not an option. I wish I could have prepared for that because it hit me so hard. Not being able to comfort the two people I loved most in the world would be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I wish that someone told me about that, I think it would have made it easier for me.


Q: What would you tell other soon to be dads?


That other dads know exactly what you are going through with your kid and spouse. That it’s okay to not know what you are doing. Something that I told myself is that, this baby girl isn’t from another planet, this baby girl is your new family member. I would tell a new dad to change the diapers, to give your partner all the love you can. Your partner is going to need you, in the beginning you will be put on the back burner because baby needs all the love your partner can give. It’s okay to take a moment, it will get better. Though the thing that I’ve learned as a father is that time has a new meaning. Time moves slower, then at the same time it goes by so fast. So hold your baby, kiss your baby, love your partner as much as you can.



You are a father now, show you are worth that title.


-Papa Bear 🐻


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